第48章

原作 (刊於”崙崙的世界”): 2007-01-30

重寫: 2026-02-10

The Hong Kong style café that Lun loved dearly suddenly closed down. If this had happened ten years ago, because he would not have understood what was going on, he would very likely have become entangled in it and refused to let it go.

His favorite Hong Kong–style café shut its doors without warning. That weekend, we brought him there only to find it closed. Nowadays, he seems with much more understanding. He simply stood outside the restaurant, staring through the glass door covered with a large sheet of white paper. He peered inside for a while. The dining hall was completely empty, not a single light on. Then he obediently listened to us: “The so-and-so restaurant is closed. It’s not open. Let’s go to another place to eat.” If time could turn back ten years, his reaction would most likely have been very different.

People with autism can be very stubborn. During their growing years - especially when they enter adolescence - they can become particularly rigid. Even the smallest change may trigger a very intense reaction.

Lun went through that stage too. Back then, when we encountered a closed restaurant, the first ones to grow tense were not Lun, but the two of us. Usually, we noticed the closure a few seconds before he did. Alarm bells would instantly ring in our minds. We knew that because he did not understand the reason, he might get stuck on it and throw a tantrum on the spot.

The moment that thought crossed our minds, we would become nervous. I would automatically grip his hand tightly, while my wife would immediately try to explain in the simplest words what had happened.

After listening to our long explanation, if he still could not understand, he would try to deal with it himself—attempting to open the door, peering through the crack to see inside, and shouting, “Eat rice… eat rice…” His emotions would grow increasingly unstable.

We would blame ourselves: Why didn’t we check the place beforehand? Or we would complain about our bad luck—how could it be that one of the very few restaurants Lun patronized was closed today? The resentment in our hearts rose in direct proportion to the intensity of his tantrum.

After much coaxing - soft and hard tactics alike - we would finally get him back into the car. Once the door was shut, we might scold him for losing his temper, though in our minds we were already calculating a backup plan: “Which restaurant can soothe his mood?” When he saw his father angry, he would widen his eyes, fear flashing across his face, and plug both ears with his index fingers. At that moment, we would name an alternative restaurant and watch for his reaction.

If he sensed he had caused trouble and showed fear, he would repeat our suggestion. That was our cue to drive toward the new destination, silently praying that everything would go smoothly.

If his emotions truly settled, he would narrow his eyes, lower his head, and smile to himself repeatedly. Seeing that, we too would relax and regain our calm.

Lun has his own criteria for choosing restaurants. If a place does not meet his approval, he insists on not entering. So when we arrange to dine with friends and bring him along, we must take his preferences into account. On the day itself, we also need to prepare him mentally in advance - telling him the plan ahead of time so he knows it is a special event and can look forward to it.

Yet at the very last moment, it still depends on his mood that day - and on our luck. Sometimes he will enter the restaurant and start eating, but his patience runs out midway and we have to leave early. Because of this, I have mastered the art of eating quickly. The moment the dishes arrive, I pick up my chopsticks and eat as fast as I can, in case we need to leave halfway through. I would accompany him back to the car to rest for a while, then switch places with my wife so she could eat a bit more. After he settles down and his mood improves, sometimes he is willing to return to the restaurant, allowing us to finish the meal with dessert.

Postscript: The café owner had accumulated gambling debts and fled. The staff pooled their money to keep the business running for a while longer. Our family continued to support them.